What It's Like to Be Me 8/19/06-8/20/06

Saturday morning, Gerard and Andie were sitting around his mom's kitchen table in their pajamas, talking and drinking coffee with her.

"So how long is it gonna be before I see you again? You know your brother's been home for almost a month now," Donna asked Gerard. No matter how old her sons were, or how successful their band became, she would always miss them and worry about them.

"Honestly, Mom, I'm not sure. I know we have like...a week here or there. But sometimes I'll be in LA, too," Gerard answered her honestly. He would want to spend time off in both places.

"Well, Andie, you're welcome to come stay here with us anytime. And I hope I can plan on you two being here for the holidays..." said Donna.

"I'd like that! I'm really enjoying my stay here," said Andie before she took another sip of her coffee.

Donna grinned over her mug. "I'll just get me some earplugs to keep on hand so I can't hear those things that go bump in the night..."

"Haaa!!" Gerard laughed and peeked over his mug at Andie.

"Oh God!" Andie sank in her chair just a bit and covered her face.


Soon Donna left to go to work at the beauty shop she'd worked at for years. She told Andie before she left that she could come by if she wanted to be treated herself since she was always looking after the guys. Andie thought she just might take her up on the offer.

"I want to show you something," Gerard said to Andie when they were alone.

"Now look, if you're gonna start fucking teasing me about surprises again, Baby, I will take you down, right here, right now," Andie warned.

"No, no, no..." Gerard laughed. "That's something entirely different...well, almost entirely different...but anyway, I want you to listen to the new album, the WHOLE thing."

"Ahh!! Gerard! YES!" Andie cheered. "But wait...how come you never asked me before?"

"I dunno...I guess there's just been so much going on, that I didn't have time to think about it."

They went downstairs to Gerard's computer and he pulled up the files on a program. He stood up so Andie could sit in the desk chair and handed her the headphones.

"I'm gonna leave you," he smiled. "I'm gonna go call Frankie. I thought I'd see if we could all meet tomorrow where we've always practiced. I thought it would be good to rehearse and, that way, you can meet some of our friends."

"Okay! I'd like that," Andie smiled as he kissed her forehead and left the room.

Andie began listening to "The End", which came first, of course. She had to grin at how fun the first two tracks were. As she continued to listen, she saw the guys' concept about the patient. She understood the idea that he realized he was going to die and had all these issues to deal with as he waited for his death. Then at the end, it was so uplifting. Andie thought the album told her a story, really, from start to finish. And she loved the way the guys told the story in their own fashion, like Gerard's brash lyrics, sang ever so sweetly sometimes, then coarse and throaty other times. Then sometimes there were thundering guitars and drums, but other times playful melodies. Andie LOVED how it all mixed together.

She found Gerard upstairs and he looked up from his sketchpad as she walked into the room.

"Sorry it took so long. I wanted to listen to some of the tracks again!"

Gerard grinned at her excitement. He wanted her to be a part of everything in his life. And for her to enjoy his work as he did, was so rewarding.

She sat down and smiled at him. "Gerard, that was fucking awesome! I mean, I'm no critic, and maybe I'm slightly biased, but I know what I like to listen to, and I think you guys REALLY outdid yourselves!"

"Yeah? You think so, too?" Gerard couldn't stop smiling. "We ARE tremendously proud of it. We really put ourselves out there this time."

"You did! I know I loved it!"

"I thought you would!"


Later that day, Andie took Donna up on her offer and had Gerard take her to the beauty shop where his mom worked. Andie waited for her to finish a client, then took the chair herself, for a change. Donna cut and colored Andie's hair for her.

"I wish Gerard would let me color his hair back to normal," said Donna loud enough so Gerard could hear.

"Mom...I told you, it's for a reason..." he defended himself.

"I know, I know..." she shook her head. "My son," she said to Andie in front of her. "He's always had these crazy ideas with his hair."


On Sunday, Gerard took Andie to the place wehre the band had practiced for years. Mikey, Ray, Bob, and Frank were already there, along with about a half dozen old friends of theirs, as Gerard and Andie walked in.

Gerard's cellphone rang and excused himself and took the call from Brian. Mikey introduced Andie to everyone, including Jamia, Frank's girlfriend, whom she'd never met.

"I'm so glad to finally meet you!" Jamia said to Andie.

"You, too! I've heard so much about you already from Frank," replied Andie.

"Well, then it's probably all bad!" Jamia laughed.

As the guys goofed off, Andie and Jamia talked together. They got along great, of course, as they had quite a bit in common. But as they discussed all the traveling with the upcoming tour, Andie couldn't help but feel bad for Jamia. Like most people, she had a regular job that kept her in one place all the time, and wasn't able to come along with Frank very often. She didn't seem to mind, though, she'd told Andie, as she'd been doing it for years now.

Gerard walked up behind them and slipped his arm around Andie.

"I can't believe you found someone so cool, Gerard," Jamia joked with him.

"Yeah, well, even us losers get lucky sometimes," Gerard laughed. "Hey, isn't that a song? Did I just quote a fucking song?"

"I think you did," Andie giggled.

"AH! That was so gay!" Gerard shook his head. "Hey, Andie, the guys wanna practice for awhile and then go get something to eat. Is that alright with you?"

"Well, yeah!" Andie turned to him. "And by the way, you're definately NOT a loser." She kissed his cheek.

The guys played a few songs in the familiar place where they'd practiced for years. They still liked to practice there. It felt like old times...well, mostly.

They were discussing how they could play "Cancer" since there wasn't a keyboardist or strings. It was decided that Ray or Frank would take parts and play them on guitar to improvise.

Andie leaned over to Jamia. "If there was a keyboard, I could play it," she laughed.

"Really? Because I think there's one in storage that another band uses. We all know them and they wouldn't give a shit if we used it!" Jamia said excitedly.

Holy shit. Andie immediately regretting opening her mouth as Jamia was already telling the guys.

Gerard looked at Andie incredulously. "Really? You can play it? God, you just heard it yesterday!"

Andie thought about the melody for a moment and nodded her head and she played it to herself. "Yeah, I got it."

"Are you fucking kidding me?" asked Bob.

"You heard it yesterday, and you can play it already?" asked Mikey.

"You guys have never heard her play..." Gerard's eyes grew wide.

Andie felt herself shrinking. "Well, it's really not as difficult as other things I've memorized..."

A couple of their friends went to get the keyboard and set it up as Gerard grinned at Andie. He could not believe she was actually going to play with them. He knew how talented she was, but he also knew how she felt about playing for other people. He wonderef if he could help her change that.

Andie watched the keyboard being set up and her heart skipped a beat. Maybe this was a really bad idea. Then she saw Gerard smiling at her and walking towards her. Oh God. He was so wonderful and his face was just beaming. There was no way she could back out of this. She would just have to face her fears and just play it...just like she would at home by herself.