Just Sleep... 7/20/06 (not factual)

Eventually, everyone returned to the hotel, but it was really late and Gerard's prescription had kicked in. He'd slept in the Escalade on the way, but it was obvious he could drop to the floor and grab some Z's right there if the crutches weren't keep him upright through the hotel corridors.

"Wait...wait..." he mumbled. "I'm goin' to Andie's room..."

"Dude...I hope you're gonna get a shower," said Brian making a face.

"What?" laughed Gerard. "Do I fuckin' smell? Ssshit...I got reeeally dirty, didn't I?"

"Yeah, baby, you're dirty," said Andie grinning. She turned to Brian, "Are you able to stay in there with him while he gets a shower? I'd be afraid to leave him alone in there like this."

"Yeah, I know. Sure, no problem."

When they got to Andie's room, Brian stayed with Gerard so he didn't fall in the shower while Andie went to Gerard and MIkey's room to get Gerard's clothes. When she returned, she could hear Gerard singing some crazy shit from the shower. She knocked on the door to give Brian the clothes.

"C'mon in Andie! The water's warmmm! Haaaa!" laughed Gerard. "YEAH...YOU AN' MEEEEE.."

She handed Brian the clothes and shook her head.

Soon, Brian left the two of them as Gerard was crawling into bed with a grin still plastered across his face. Andie sat down beside him and smoothed her fingers across the hair at his temple. She looked down at him dozing off and whispered, "Well, was it worth it, Baby?"

"Hell yeah...I was the fucking shit..." But his eyelids were just too heavy and he dozed off.

Andie got a shower herself and crawled into bed next to him. She snuggled up to him and fell asleep as well.


The next morning, Andie awoke to find Gerard still out cold. She tried kissing his face again to wake him. It didn't help. She decided to let him sleep a bit longer while she packed their suitcases.


"Gerard? Gerard?" she nudged him and called his name several times before he slowly opened his eyes and tried to focus on her face.

"Mmm...hey Sugar..." he rubbed his face.

"Hey Baby..." she smiled down at him. "We have to get you moving. You've got a flight to catch."

"Nooo..." he snuggled his face to her leg and wrapped his arm around her lap. "Wait.." he realized she was dressed and lifted his head. "What time is it?"

"It's almost 11:30. I have to go now or I'll miss my flight to LA." she explained.

"You're gonna go? Now?" he rubbed his face into her leg. "Stay here with meee, Andieee."

"Baby, I can't. Mikey's here. And Frank. And Ray. They're gonna help you get going."

Gerard sat up in bed and grimaced from the pain in his ankle. Andie felt so bad for him. She took his hand in hers. "I'll miss you," she whispered looking down at their hands. Why were goodbyes so hard?

Looking down at her delicate hand in his, he brought hers to his face and kissed her red polished fingers. "I'll miss you, too."

Andie couldn't take it anymore. If she could, she'd stay right there with him the rest of their lives. She'd give up everything for him if he asked her to. Fighting back tears, she kissed his forehead and got up. "I'll call you later, ok?"

After hugging Mikey, Frank, and Ray, Andie grabbed her suitcase and was out the door. Gerard watched her leave and felt this looming fear in that moment. It was then that he realized he wanted to tell her something and he didn't. He loved her. He knew it. In three short days, he knew it. How long would it be before he saw her again? He should have told her how he felt. But he didn't.

Gerard hobbled to the bathroom in pain and shut the door. He looked in the mirror at his reflection as he broke down and cried. Bending over and resting his head on the cold countertop, his chest heaved as the sorrow engulfed him like a dark evil shadow. When he lifted his head, his eyes focused on his prescription bottle on the counter. He convinced himself the pain in his ankle was so severe that he needed to take a double dose.

The oxycodone he had taken the night before had left him severely depressed about Andie leaving and he wasn't making a wise judgement about his dosage.

After he swallowed the pills and collected himself, he shoved the bottle in his pocket before he hobbled out to see his friends.

Gerard slept through the flight back to Jersey where the guys had to help him get safely back home. Once he was in his old room, Gerard looked around and suddently realized he didn't feel like himself. And his fucking ankle was killing him. He took a second double dose of Oxycodone and laid down in the bed he had slept in for years.

Sometime late that evening, Gerard woke up freezing. He tried to pull the covers up over himself, but he was shaking too badly. Suddenly, he felt his throat swell and stumbled to the bathroom. He barely made it to the commode before he vomited. Pulling himself up to the sink, he rinsed his mouth out with water in his hand and looked up at his reflection in the mirror. The image he saw was distorted and blurry. He had seen that guy before. His foot was throbbing in pain. Figuring he had hurt himself stumbling to the bathroom, he took another double dose of Oxycodone and laid back down in his bed. Ten minutes later, he didn't hear his cellphone ringing on the bedside table...



Andie had settled in at her apartment in LA and thought she'd check to see how Gerard was doing. She tried his cell but didn't get an answer. Figuring he must be sleeping, she grabbed her purse and keys and headed out the door. Kay, her agent, had called her once already since she'd been back. Andie was eager to meet with her and tell her the good news about going on tour with the guys.

Driving along the freeway, Andie's thoughts turned to Gerard. Grinning to herself recalling his silly sweetness, she decided it would keep her from missing him so much if she could just hear his voice. She popped in her Bullets cd and skipped ahead to number six.

**SOUNDTRACK: "HEADFIRST FOR HALOS"**

Singing along and tapping the steering wheel to the beat, Andie felt so elated. She felt the full impact of the past three days just rush over her and she couldn't stop grinning. She felt Gerard's presence with her. She heard his laugh. She felt his arms around her and his lips on hers...

"Think happy thoughts...Think happy thoughts...Think happy thoughts..."

Andie only saw a blur of lights as the delivery truck ran the red light and slammed into the side of her car, hurtling it through the intersection...



Darkness... Darker than any night... Voices... Voices she didn't recognize... Pain... Oh God the pain... God please make it stop... Please make it stop... Gerard's sweet face... He was laughing... No...he was crying... He was reaching for her... She tried to reach out to him... She couldn't reach him... He was falling... No... She was falling... Black silence....