Things Are Better If I Stay 7/25/06 (not factual)

The black nothingness had returned. Andie's heart raced. It was so eerie and frightening. She felt so...alone. Where was everyone? Was Logan with her again? She tried to focus, she wanted Logan to be with her. But there was just...emptiness.

She was so scared. What if she was dead? But...she couldn't be dead... This couldn't be the end! She wasn't finished living! There was so much more she wanted to do! So much more to say! What about her mom and dad? Oh they would be so upset with both their children gone...

Wait... What about Gerard? I mean, her parents knew she loved them...but...she never told Gerard how much he meant to her. She was in such a hurry that day and she just...left. She didn't even really tell him goodbye. She'd told him she'd miss him...and that she'd call him later?! That was it?! Oh God! Now he would never know... She'd thought there would be time... Now he would never know she loved him. How could this happen to her? What had she done to deserve this!? Why her? Why now?

When she'd been so depressed after Logan died...sure, she would have loved to have left that world behind her. Who needed the misery? Why spend your whole life loving people just to lose them for some fucked up political bullshit war? She would gladly have joined Logan...at that time.

But then she met Gerard...and he was so full of life. He made her finally feel alive again, herself. And she'd wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of her life...actually living...with him. He made her WANT to live again. He made her come out of her shell and be herself again after so many months of being depressed about Logan's death. And now...well...those may have been her last days.

Well...at least she got to spend her last days with Gerard. She wouldn't have traded those days for anything. If those were her last days, it was worth it to have spent them with him.

Suddenly, Andie felt a delicate hand touch her shoulder. She turned around and found herself face to face with an older woman she didn't know...or did she? The woman smiled knowingly up at Andie. There was something about her smile...something...familiar. Did she know this woman? The woman seemed to know Andie...

"Andie..." The kindly woman knew her name. "It's time for you to go now, Dear."

Confused, Andie tried to understand the woman before her. What did she mean? It was then that she realized what was familiar about her. Gerard had that same smile...

Andie felt a tiny hand tug at her own. She looked down to see a little boy gently tugging her hand. He couldn't be more than four years old. Andie's heart stopped. The little boy had Gerard's eyes...she would know them anywhere. He smiled up at her. And it was then that she just...knew... Everything was going to be okay.

The woman hugged her. "Go Andie... It's time..."

Andie took the little boy's hand and, smiling up at her, he led her away from the woman.


Andie awoke slowly and tried to focus, but the lights...they were so bright. She felt a hand on hers and turned to see...Gerard's eyes.

"Andie! OH MY GOD! Andie!" He was crying and kissing her face all over.

"Gerard..." Andie mumbled and smiled faintly.

**SOUNDTRACK: "HELENA"**


Andie had recovered favorably and awoke voluntarily from the induced comatose state. She would not recall the vision of her childhood. It was her fondest memory and happened at the most serious point of her recovery, when her body had almost given up.

She also wouldn't recall her conversations with Logan, Elena, or the boy with Gerard's eyes...

It would be several days before she would fully return from the comatose state. During this time, she would awake for brief periods of time, then return to a deep sleep. Eventually, the periods of wakefulness would return to a more normal routine, but she would remain hospitalized for some time for observation.


"Andie! Oh God I thought I'd lost you!" Gerard exclaimed, wiping the tears of joy from his face.

"Where...am I?" Andie's throat was so dry. It almost hurt to speak.

Gerard seemed to know, somehow, and lifted a straw to her lips. As she sipped, he replied, "You were in an accident. You're in the hospital."

Slowly, it came back to Andie. The truck...it ran the red light and hit her car. Andie panicked. Was the accident that bad?

"Am I okay?" She looked worriedly at Gerard.

"Yes...yes, Sugar..." Gerard touched her face and smoothed her hair from her forehead, calming her. "You've been through a lot...but you pulled through." He smiled at her. "I have to tell you something, and I have to tell you right now."

Andie looked concerned. Did she lose a limb? Was she paralized?

"Andie...I love you. I wanted to tell you. And then...then I thought I'd lost you. And I hadn't told you... And I don't want to wait anymore. I want you to know... I love you... I do."

Andie smiled at Gerard. "I love you, too, Baby."

Andie drifted back to sleep with a renowned feeling of resolve.